Breaking the “Rules”

Do you know what I often find myself doing, without even realizing it? Trying to please everyone. I speak against it often, and I very well know that I shouldn’t try to please everyone. It’s impossible. Why am I bringing this up now? Because I feel it is important to share this with whomever may be reading this. I don’t usually share overly personal things on this blog, so cherish this. ;D

Let me start with one example to make clear the point I’m trying to get at. A few months back, I read one person’s opinion on anime. He is a comic artist that I was and still am a fan of. He happened to say that everyone and their mother draws anime now, and that people should deviate to different styles. I became so overly worried by this. What do people think of my art?! Am I just like everyone else because of the art style I’ve chosen? I went to the point of questioning my worth as an artist, even almost feeling guilty over it. Now I know what you must be thinking. “Oh Taylor, you silly mongoose! It’s just one opinion! Who cares?!” It’s true. It IS just one opinion. But because of my subconscious tendency to want to please everyone, to never let anyone down, I let it get to me way more than I should have.

I’m not saying that he doesn’t have the right to his opinion of anime. He has as much of a right to his opinion as I have to mine. I’m also not saying that he doesn’t have a point; it’s true that everyone seems to draw anime now. But the fact is that I shouldn’t make it my mission to please him. I don’t even know him, and he probably doesn’t know of my existence. So does it really matter? No. There is no law saying that I can’t draw anime, or any other style, for that matter.

I still am trying to break myself of this habit. Even just now, I made the same mistake again! I read a post on the NaNoWriMo forums about “rules of writing” or some odd thing like that. One of their “rules” spoke strongly against a “character looking in the mirror and describing themselves” scene. On my first or second day of NaNo-ing, I did a scene that was just that. Cole looks into the mirror, and he observes what he sees. Upon reading this “rule of writing”, I stared at my screen for a few moments, pondering this commandment. I, again, started to question my worth, this time as a writer. Is my book now terrible, and not worth writing at all, because of this? I scolded myself for even thinking of writing such a scene, one that has been used countless times. How could I commit such a terrible sin?! I felt guilty, and like I was no longer worthy to participate in the sacred ritual, the NaNoWriMo, which can only include the masters. Those who are trained in these “rules”. I am obviously unfit to try and take a place among these master who always know what they’re doing.

Then, it dawned on me.

Who. Cares.

Who bloody CARES if I write a scene in which my character looks in the mirror and describes himself?! Sure, there are a million other ways to have a character’s appearance revealed, but so what if I choose THAT way?! Why should I feel obligated to abide by this person’s “rules”? I shouldn’t feel guilty for not following their standards. The only standards I should even begin to worry about living up to are God’s standards. This unknown person who took it upon themselves to establish rules to my writing is, in fact, not God. Chances are, they’ll never read my book. I may edit out that scene in which my character looks in the mirror, but so what if I don’t? It doesn’t make me any less a writer, just as drawing anime doesn’t make me any less an artist. I’ve read books that are simply marvelous and the character looks in the mirror, and points out their features. It may not be all of the said features, maybe just their hair color or something of the sort. But I didn’t throw the book aside and say “Bah! This writer obviously doesn’t know the universal law prohibiting such obscene scenes! I shan’t read anymore of this garbage!”

So why, in Heaven’s name, am I writing all of this? What importance does this have to you?

I hate my own faults, but I hate them more in other people, to put it simply. I want to tell you that it doesn’t matter if you do something differently than some other random person. Even if it’s someone close to you, not some obscure internet opinion, it’s okay. I don’t know if someone, anyone, reading this has the same problem I seem to, the undying need to please everyone. But please take it from a struggling person; you can’t please everyone. I know anyone can tell you that; in fact, you’ve probably heard it a million times before. Nonetheless, think about it. There’s always going to be someone, somewhere, that disagrees. Who doesn’t like the way you do things. But ask yourself; does this person’s opinion really matter so much? Am I going to let it impact my life so much that I stop doing something I love because they don’t approve? I try and keep those questions in my head whenever I feel like I am going to torment myself over someone’s opinion of me or something I do. Obviously, I fail at times.

But no matter who you are, whether you’re an artist, scientist, writer, chef, ditch digger, whatever. God loves you, and the opinions of others don’t matter. Do what you do because you love to do it. I LOVE to draw anime. Yeah, I could draw a different style. I have proven that I’m capable of it. But why should I, if what I love to draw is anime? If you are changing or you have changed from doing something you love to something you don’t really like so much, even despise, just because someone said that they didn’t like what you’re doing… Please question it. I hate to see people unhappy, especially if they are for the same reasons I sometimes am. It may be that nobody reading this has this problem. Well then, that’s fantastic! But I hope that if you do, you’ll take the journey of breaking yourself of that with me. I felt the need to share this with you all, maybe for the off chance that it will encourage someone out there. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t.

Another habit I seem to have is rambling about my bad habits. ;D But I digress. A ramble though this was, I hope that it has encouraged someone out there.

Love you all, God bless.